I often have different expectation for others than I do myself.
I want those I love to take good care of themselves. I don’t think much of taking care of myself.
I want people to be honest and vulnerable with me. I have a hard time being open about my thoughts and feelings.
I am frustrated and concerned for my friends who have unhealthy patterns they can’t break. I wish my friends would stop caring about my unhealthy patterns.
In the season in which I find myself right now, I am learning a lot about grace and patience. That mostly comes from what I am experiencing from those around me, particularly from my roommate Emily, as I am struggling with myself and facing into things honestly. I understand how hard it is to watch other people when they are doing things that are harmful to themselves, even the little things, but it is a different perspective when you realize you yourself are doing the same things that kill you when others do them. It gives me a fresh reminder on giving grace, when I am in need of receiving so much of it myself.
I hope I am learning better how to let myself be where I am. I am trying my best to be present where I am at, and not put pressure on myself to immediately “fix” it. I am trying to apply these standards of grace to both myself and those around me.